Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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