im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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