I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
this will be a night to untag.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
