New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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