You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
