My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize