Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Oh god it's open bar.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
