your parents love me but you hate me
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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