She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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