I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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