***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
