I wanna bring you to show and tell
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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