After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
