did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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