Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
