I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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