You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I think I won the penis lottery.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize