Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
