So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
