Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
