you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
