come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
