This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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