You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize