Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
one two three fourrrrnication!
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
