I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
