Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
