The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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