Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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