she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
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