I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize