GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
