I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
