You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Drunk is not a location!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
