and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
