i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
