Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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