he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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