I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
