Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
