Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
