gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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