this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
