I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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