Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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