i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
