Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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