what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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