Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
