if i died would you start the facebook group?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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