love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
