seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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