you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
