Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
