i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
