They should really pass out barf bags in church
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
