oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Ketchup is God's man juice
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
