I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you didnt know i had herpes?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
