why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
