i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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